The “good news” is that I have MS?

Written By
Kim Fryling-Resare

In 2003, I found out that I had multiple sclerosis in the ER. The young emergency room doctor sauntered in, smiled at me, and then said, "The good news is that you didn’t have a stroke, and you don’t have a brain tumor or brain cancer. It looks like you have MS."

Of course, my initial thought was, Whoa! That's the good news? First, I had no idea those things were even possibilities! I thought I had pulled a muscle or pinched a nerve but…Wait! I have MS?!

Yes, looking back to that time, the "good news" was that I did have multiple sclerosis. MS was definitely the lesser of many possible evils and I’m thankful that it wasn’t far worse. However at that moment in time, I really needed a softer, kinder approach rather than his nonchalant delivery of the information. To me, I had just received the worst, life-changing news of my life and there was nothing “good” about it.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I have had more positive experiences than negative ones, and I have the utmost respect and admiration for healthcare professionals. I just wish some of them practiced a little bit more tact. Of course, I also feel that way about the general population too. We could all probably practice a little more thought before we speak! 😉  

While I was shocked at the way that emergency room doctor very flippantly delivered this news to me, I can look back now with a bit of perspective. First, he was an emergency room doctor and may have become desensitized by the types of cases he sees day in and day out. I’m sure he had to deliver enough bad news in his career and in the scheme of life, my case was probably rather benign in his eyes. Indeed it was "good news" to tell a 27-year old woman that she didn’t have a stroke or cancer, but he did offhandedly drop the bomb that I had a chronic illness.

Maybe it is hindsight, or maybe it is years of experience, but I forgive that emergency room doctor. Yes, there could have been a gentler way of letting someone know this life-changing news but that’s not his specialty. His focus is on emergencies and trauma, and he really doesn’t have the time to nurture and reassure a patient. Sometimes I think practitioners can get so close and so wrapped up in their profession that they don’t even realize that they are having that kind of impact on a patient. It doesn’t make it right but it gives perspective from their point of view.

I wish I could say that I was alone in that experience but I’ve heard many of you tell similar stories about a healthcare practitioner saying something that completely shocked or even offended you. My only advice would be to take it lightly and never take it personally. These people are professionals but they are also human, and of course, there are always those rare, bad apples out there.

SHARE WITH US: Have you had a similar experience? If so, what are your thoughts about it? How did you feel?

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